So much for being positive…

After having tried everything to get pregnant and stay pregnant this time, we still failed at it: the second ultrasound on April 21st showed no heartbeat. The baby (looking like a little cashew nut, or a comma) stopped growing at 8 wks., but I had no signs of miscarriage, so had a D&C at almost 10 wks. That was painless. It’s the other part–the part where I imagine throwing fine china at various walls–that hurts. Seeing the heartbeat (128 bpm) at the first ultrasound was AMAZING, and I guess that’s the reason this went on for so long, to give me that opportunity to see and hear the beat of her heart. Otherwise, I can only pray that pregnancies without a viable future end sooner rather than later. I miss her.