The thing about adoption is…

that by the time you figure out you’re ready / willing / committed / open / thrilled to do it, you’re ready for the child. And then you have the paperchase. And then you have The Wait.

What I mean is that when people apply to an agency to accept them as a potential adoptive parent, they’re already there…they’ve already done the hard work to get to that point. Nobody’s filling out adoption applications when they sign their marriage certificates or turn 18 or enroll in their first 401K, and then spending the next couple years deciding whether to go through with it while they wait for China to go through its process. The moment they fill out the applications they know they want this.

I don’t think that’s true for pregnancy. I think a lot of people either just find out they’re pregnant haphazardly and then take the next eight months to get used to the idea, or they plan the pregnancy to a degree but are so validated in their choice by the culture-at-large, that, in many cases, they never really consider the implications. Adoptive parents do that sort of soul-searching before they ever fill out an application, but then they’re STILL forced to wait. That’s what I call cosmically unfair.