Home on the Range.
I grew up back East in one of those planned communities that sprung up during the 60s as social living experiments: town divided into eight villages, each village divided into four neighborhoods, each with its own shopping center, grocery store, swimming pool, high school, elementary schools, all within walking distance to every house in the neighborhood, bike paths running everywhere like veins, “communal” mailboxes so you could greet your neighbors as you picked up the day’s post, affordable housing sitting next to upscale homes, and so forth. You get the idea. American Suburbia with a 60s twist.
After spending my college years in a quintessential New England borough, I returned back to the D.C. metro area to attend graduate school. I lived “inside the Beltway” for most of my 20s. When I finished my degree and landed my first faculty position, I moved to west Michigan and lived in a town on the shores of the Big Lake famous for its Tulip Festival every May and its reputation as housing most of yuppie Chicago during the summers.
So, the idea that I now live on a 57-acre ranch in the high desert of rural Arizona comes as a bit of a shock to most people who’ve known me for any amount of time. Sometimes, it comes as a bit of a shock to me. Witness a morning last week, not unlike many a morning in the SBird household: dogs already up, variously whining, barking, greeting each other, and very ready to be let out…R. and SBird awake but still faking sleep. An eye pops open to check the level of light (not yet ready to acknowledge the clock). My eye. Instead of registering the outline of the window, I instead catch movement on the sheet in front of me. Small. Brown. Crawling. Movement. No, it’s not a roach, for those of my Eastern readers who might have simply shrugged off that little reality. Nope. It’s a scorpion. In. My. Bed.
You have basically never seen two people hop out of the sheets so fast in your life. Both R. and I have been stung by the bark scorpion (a particularly heinous, although not altogether large, variety) and are here to report that neither of us are among the 1 in 50 who react to the unleashed neurotoxins by dying. So, we killed the effing thing, right there on our percale blend, and promptly called the exterminator (who we call “the scorpion guy”) to come back out to the ranch to do his thing. Because even though I hate pesticides and the like around my living spaces, I draw the line with this particular varmint. So…hose away. I’ll deal with the chemical fallout later.
I wish I could find the photo to post that I took years ago, when we first moved in, of one of these buggers on my bathroom floor (see Found It!). I was so fascinated by the idea of a SCORPION on my tile–this was before the morning one crawled into my bathrobe and stung me five times. I no longer take pictures of scorpions. I no longer coo over them, or stop to examine them, or wonder what the folks back home will think. Now I just whack the hell out of them and feel good about doing it.
Until I locate said photo, you’ll have to make do with the following. We found this guy in our driveway one evening last summer, coming home after a trip into town (30 miles away). I actually felt sorry for him because, although he rattled and rattled to warn us away, there really wasn’t much he would have been able to do for himself, preoccupied as he was. In fact, it was the closest I’ve ever allowed myself to come to a rattler because the rabbit acted like a sheath against his fangs. He had put himself into quite a predicament, and I’m sure he was feeling very vulnerable. We watched him devour the rabbit for about an hour, and then he and his immense belly slunk off into the brush. This was probably his only meal all summer–enough to carry him through the winter. By the way, we have quite a few rattlesnakes around the property, and there are no quick-fix sprays to keep them away. We depend on a hefty walking stick, boots in the garden, rattlesnake vaccines for our dogs, and a lot of luck.
Are you talking about Columbia, MD? Just wondering, as your description of the planned community sounds a lot like it. I had an ex boyfriend from college who grew up there….
Comment by: zgirl - 08.03.2006 - 7.04 am
Yep, Columbia, MD. My hometown. We lived on two streets there: Humblebee Road (no, that’s not a typo) and Eaglebeak Row–there were no Main Streets or Poplar Avenues. All streets named for various lines of poetry. My favorite: Crazyquilt Lane. Although I’m sure there were better ones in the neighborhood of “Hobbit’s Glen.” It all seems a bit annoying now.
I’ve just started reading a book, The New City, written by a guy who grew up there in the 70s like me. Should be interesting. A lot of the promise of the “new city” never panned out. Racial integration all but disappeared by the time kids got to high school. And no one ever hung out at the communal mail boxes chatting up their neighbors. Instead it was considered a chore to have to schlep down the street to pick up your mail.
Comment by: SBird - 08.03.2006 - 2.26 pm
Oh no, I did not think you made a typo. I visited there enough times to become familiar with many of the street names. I should check out the book at some point, because I found the town very fascinating, in both good and bad ways.
Also, are you a prof? I am, and I got the impression from some of yourposts and comments that you taught at the university level.
Comment by: zgirl - 08.05.2006 - 5.51 am
hey, do you know about the heathen August 2005 DTC group? It started out as a religious free DTC group that has turned into a fun group of women who are at various points in the adoption process. Many of the blog writers on your blog roll are part of the group.
I haven’t been on very much lately because most of the women are getting their referrals and aren’t in the paperchase phase. Thus, I think it would be great to get more newbies on the list. Let me know if you want more info.
Comment by: zgirl - 08.05.2006 - 2.28 pm
Yes, please, more info. I just logged on for perhaps the last time to the Fireflies group, as they’re currently involved in a discussion about the power of prayer, etc. Someone asked the moderator to curb the religious stuff on the board (about time–I suspect it was atomic mama), and now there’s an uproar. Egads. I just. want. out.
Yep, I’m a prof (or, was…). PhD in English Lit (16th-17th-c. poetry). I taught undergrads for 15 years (first part of that as a grad TA) before my doctor told me I should quit if I ever wanted to conceive. At the time, I was teaching a 5-5 schedule. So I walked. (There were also some nasty politics going on, so I wasn’t feeling the love about staying.) I am certainly much less stressed, although obviously still not a mother. I do miss academia from time to time. Or, I miss the sense of identity I had in it.
Hey, if you have IVF questions, I’ve been through it twice now. I have my own issues (high FSH and autoimmune stuff) and my DH has his issues (poor morph), so I don’t know how close our experiences are, but it sounds like you’d have a pretty good expectation of success. It’s not an easy road, though.
Comment by: SBird - 08.05.2006 - 2.57 pm
Great post. I just had to say what fantastic Wild Kingdom shots those are! I don’t mind snakes but really worry about the dogs when we hike… and WRT the scorps - I am NEVER barefoot in the house; always gotta have those flip-flops!
Comment by: atomic mama - 08.05.2006 - 7.19 pm
Wow. A 5-5 schedule? I haven’t heard of that before. Did your doctor advise you to quit your job because of the stress and the impact that it would have on your abiity to conceive? Wow.
I am at a 2-2 research-oriented university and I have to say, the stress is pretty great on me. I tend to be worrier/stresser type to begin with, so being in an academic environment can really make me feel pretty awful (physically and emotionally) at times. I’m hoping that once I get tenure, some of the pressure will subside. Although I’m sure I’ll still be stressed, at least I won’t worry anymore that having an unproductive couple of days or weeks will mean that I won’t get tenure.
I do worry how this all will affect my ability to conceive if we go through with the IVF. So I am REALLY trying to make my health and wellbeing my priority this year.–>
Comment by: zgirl - 08.08.2006 - 7.04 am