Blogosomnia.

At various points in my life, I have suffered from insomnia. I have always been able to fall asleep fairly quickly, but I sometimes wake in the middle of the night and either do or don’t fall back asleep. During certain periods, I couldn’t ever seem to manage anything but lying there wide awake, replaying tapes in my head, staring at the ceiling until dawn.

That hasn’t happened for a long time. I usually sleep through the night now without trouble. But, when I do wake up, what I think about as I’m lying there at 3 AM before falling back asleep has recently shifted. Some usual things I think about: whether I would ever have kids; the way infertility has changed me; the frightening way I tend to put things on hold while I wait to become a mother; the joy of adoption, in which I could finally believe that motherhood wasn’t out of my reach; the way the increasing wait times and threatened stricter regulations by the CCAA feel like a loss even though I wasn’t technically “with child.”

What I have just recently begun to think about: my blog. That’s right, I think about the fact that while I’m all snuggled down deep in the covers, in the dark and relative privacy of my bedroom, my blog is Out There, working for me. It never sleeps. Therefore, virtually-speaking, I never sleep. I am always cyberspeaking, flapping my gums on some subject to some potential someone somewhere, even as I am hunkered down in my bed, believing myself to be “safe” from human traffic. It freaks me out a little bit.

Does anyone else ever have blogosomnia?