Planning 101: Gifts for Nannies, Guides, Etc.
Okay, let’s talk about gifts for a minute. I am the kind of person who could really go overboard obsessing about this issue. I know some bloggers who have. I know people who have ordered incredibly intricate giftbags stuffed with goodies from Oriental Trading Company or a similar venue. I know people worry and worry about what to bring. Me too…
…until I came across a couple of “open letters” to the Chinese IA community from people working within agencies in China, letting us know the inside scoop. Then I calmed down significantly. In particular, one of these people offered the piece of advice that I have taken to heart on this subject: Everything you need for giving gifts to nannies, orphanage staff, guides, and officials can be found right in your own supermarket. End of story.
So today I am going to share the list I compiled with help from these two letters. I’m not going to reproduce the letters in toto here, but somewhere in his “going to war” schedules, Johnny posted the one from the Director of LWB, and the other letter (from an American doctor living and working in China now) I found on one of my SN yahoo groups.
First, things they both said NOT to bring as gifts: pen sets and baseball caps (they have received WAY TOO MANY of these as gifts already); anything that is “snow globe-like.”
The doctor actually said this: “I find the Chinese to be very practical people when it comes to gifts: something they can consume or use is typically preferred to something that requires dusting.”
Here’s the list of what they did say to bring, culled from both letters–the quoted language is from these letters; it’s not me:
American ginseng (the actual root/tuber, not the pills or potions)
nuts
salt water taffy
bottles of wine
lotions from Bath and B@dyworks or from the supermarket
nice candles
sachets
sets of paper plates/napkins for holiday or birthday use
ground coffee (it’s terribly expensive in China)
candy (such as Whitman’s sampler)
specialty cookies
vitamins
Ginseng tea (”they are curious about Sleepytime teas that are herbal”)
socks (”the US makes better quality socks and the Chinese people know it”)
placemats
picture frames
potpourri envelopes (”They CANNOT get anything like that in China and it makes small apartments smell great.”)
pretty room fresheners (like the glass ones–”I am asked for these over and over again.”)
Jelly Bellies (”not usually found in China…Nestle and Cadbury chocolate is everywhere now and easy to buy, so this is more unique”)
“Anything ‘pretty’.” (”postcards of flowers, sunsets, etc. are so popular because they can be hung on a wall. Similarly, books of flowers, gardening, etc, or calendars with beautiful photos are great as well…they often do not have the funds to buy pretty things like this.”)
deodorant (”Trust us…you cannot buy this in China and they will LOVE IT.”)
wrap-around ear muffs (the flat kind that go behind the head)
Make up (soft colors, any type)
travel-sized lotions and soaps (pretty ones with flowers and good scents)
local treats (like Frango mints–if it’s from your hometown or region, it’s fun for them)
cash (”Remember that the numbers 2, 6, and 8 are good numbers and make sure the RMB is in one of those amounts. Do not do anything with 4. Normally, I will give $10 each, so 80 RMB. That is a very, very nice gift. Some agencies are okay with it, some aren’t. Do not EVER give cash to an official.”)
top-of-the-line disposable razors
M@rlboro cigarettes (”the most appreciated gift I take”)
The doctor described doing a “white elephant gift exchange” with her (Chinese) staff at Christmastime: “The most sought-after items are: bottles of wine, paper plates/napkins for parties (nice sets or even kids birthday party supplies as these are not available in China–floral plates/napkins, for example, or Scoobydoo), body lotion or hand lotion, table items such as placemats, picture frames.”
Everything should go in red gift bags with red tissue paper. Money in red envelopes. (Nothing can be wrapped, of course, until you get there because of airport security.)
So…what am I taking?
I still have a few more things to buy…the agency says eight or nine gifts, including one appropriate for a man, and one that is “very nice” and also “small and discreet,” which will apparently be sort of smuggled to the woman at the CCAA who works exclusively with our agency’s paperwork. Interesting.
I still have to buy some little lotions and nicely-printed paper plates/napkins sets and tea. At the supermarket. I am determined not to sweat it. Please tell me (BTDTs) if I am walking the right line on this.
At this point, I don’t remember at all what we brought as gifts. I do remember that our facilitators had us deliver the gifts to their rooms, and then they divvied them up to give to the orphanage nannies, etc.
Comment by: OmegaMom - 03.31.2007 - 4.49 pm
You mention coffee. I recall an incident from many years ago when I travelled to China just as it was beginning to welcome tourists (about 1980). Most people were still wearing Mao type uniforms (silk for the brass, cotton for every day people). In Cheng-du, our tour group leaders spent some time with the mayor and tourism officials. The mayor let it be known that, since Americans travel with instant coffee and do not need it once they head home, she would be glad to take it off my hands to lighten my load…
Comment by: Julie - 04.01.2007 - 12.15 am
Looks great and very much along the same lines that I’ve seen recommended by my agency - American/Wisconsin ginseng, specialties local to you, snacks, and scents. Perfect!
Comment by: atomic mama - 04.01.2007 - 9.16 am
We gave the following as gifts:
Toiletries and upscale make up in pretty silk bags (culled from my MIL..I might have frightened them with the low brow make up I buy! LOL)
Cigarettes (totally a non-smoker to the extreme, but they seemed very pleased)
A small flashlight set with batteries, something that was suggested by our agency via the China guides
Ginseng
Jelly Beans
Socks
I love some of the ideas on your list, but please don’t freak yourself out. They will love what you bring, as I am sure that you will put your lovely touch on it all.
And, I was wondering if you were going to blog from China? I wanted to email to ask, and feel badly writing it here…but I could not find a way to email you directly. And, if not..would it be possible to get the password to the protected posts? If you need more background on me, please feel free to ask.
Take care.
Comment by: Amanda - 04.01.2007 - 12.40 pm
Nice list. Mind if I copy it for my ongoing list of ideas?
Comment by: Cavatica - 04.01.2007 - 6.10 pm
Love, love, love this list. I am a very practical person, and this is the best list I have ever seen. I would like to post something like this on my blog at some point in the future if you don’t mind.
This just took care of something I have worried about for months, as I wanted us to take things that would be appreciated, and not something they get all the time.
Thanks a bunch(as usual)
Can’t believe it is almost time for you to go.
I hope you have a wonderful trip, and can’t wait to see the pictures.
Wishing you a safe, and the happiest trip ever.
Comment by: jules - 04.01.2007 - 7.42 pm
I think what you’re bringing is fantastic.
I’m one of the idiots who brought a baseball cap (also local t-shirts and jewelry). Our agency didn’t give us the best list of suggestions. It could have been so simple too - my aunt’s family grows ginseng. Oh well.
Comment by: Jessi - 04.01.2007 - 8.39 pm
Thank you thank you for this. I don’t know if we’ll get such a list from our agency but yours will be my “go-to for gifts” list. I’m so hoping you’re leaving the country very, very soon.
Comment by: walternatives - 04.02.2007 - 6.28 am
I vote for jelly bellies.
Comment by: Nicole - 04.04.2007 - 5.54 am
We did the “duty free” present route. I bought several books of beautiful stamps from the post office (another great way to give cash that is not in cash form), and then had Boyd pick up 4 bottles of American Whiskey/hard liquor, 4 cartons of Marlboros and quite a bit of very good quality chocolate. Umm, I will tell you that he did not wrap his gifts (he was traveling alone and just wasn’t gonna do it) but he got a HUGE thumbs up from the SWI Director when he put his stash on the table.
Boyd and I joked that we were like WWII GIs wooing nice European girls. Chocolate, cigarettes, stamps and liquor. The only thing we didn’t include was nylons. And that just seemed a little too personal.
Comment by: chicagomama - 04.05.2007 - 2.07 pm
We’ve done it twice and I believe you are infact on the right track. Here is a hint for the lotions, makeup etc…Both times I asked my friends and neighbors for their unopened high quality perfect condition makeup counter freebie castoffs. Or home business like Mary Kay or Arbonne extras etc…When I explained what it was for (nanny gifts) everyone was so generous. I ended up with some very nice lipsticks and lotions, and bath gels that were all American or French. I figured what they did not like they could re-gift or trade for other things in China. It ended up being a nice way to include friends in the trip planning, they were so excited to “help” in the process to bring baby home.
Comment by: Perrin - 04.08.2007 - 9.08 am
I just clicked in and the next thing I knew I had carpal tunnel on my mouse wrist because I’ve been zooming though your pages, but I’ll be back when I have time to roll around longer. There were many pleasant spots to add a comment, but I’ll insert my for what it’s worth here, money, don’t forget money, it’s a big hit, and no it is not perceived as a callous or insulting gesture, I checked and it’s okay, really, I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Along with the lovely tokens, when you present the gifts to her care givers (I don’t suggest this for the SWI officials) some yuan folded in a card with your sweet Bee’s photo glued/taped/attached in some fashion so the recipient can connect the gift to the giver will be very much appreciated. Really, I’m not making this up. Can you see I’m a little defensive? I once was crisped for this suggestion on a board, but after four adoption trips, you pick up a few good ideas along the way and this is one of them. I’m also no good at the trench toilets and finally just gave up and only brought skirts to wear, if you see what I mean.
Marji
muddling mom to four Chinese born beauties
Comment by: Marji Hanson - 04.11.2007 - 11.50 pm
Well, even if you don’t have gifts to give to the people who need it. Just give them attention and love that’s the best gifts to give, but things also gives sentimental value and as a remembrance to the person who gave it and whom they gave it. I like your ideas, it gives more ideas to the people seeking the right gifts to the people they want to give…
Comment by: Kathy Martin - 12.05.2007 - 5.56 am
You have an interesting post. I really enjoy reading it. I have already bookmarked your blog so that I can come back later for more updates.
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